worn thin

It is easy to feel worn thin. We live in a world of constant movement, communication, and opportunity. Everyone seems to be busy. Even though I am living in a much more slow-paced culture than that of the U.S., I still feel that same rush in my life. There are so many responsibilities I have, not only as a teacher, but as a daughter, friend, granddaughter, niece, and wife. Sometimes it feels as if I am doing a juggling act to try to please all of the people I love. This is not to say they are all expecting as much as I think they are, but I place a pressure on myself to be everything to everyone, and it is exhausting. Sometimes, I just want to slow down and rest.

These feelings were elevated with our recent trip to the States. Don't get me wrong, we had an amazing time with family and friends. I am so thankful for the break and chances to see people. However, I did leave still feeling guilty about not spending time with this person, or not spending enough time with that person. Even after being in five states, seeing family, seeing college friends,seeing high school friends, and even a friend from camp, I felt like I hadn't done enough.

What really hit me today was that in all that time of running around trying to see everyone this holiday season in the short time I had, I did not spend any real time my Father. I did not take one moment in the celebratory time of his birth to sit down and spend time with God. I brought my Bible with me and didn't crack it open. I brought my prayer journal and didn't write down one prayer. I thought about it, but I never followed through. It says something about the state of my heart when I can arrange endless get-togethers with family and friends but can't take the time to sit down for 15 minutes and pray. I got caught up in the rush of the season without remembering the one whom it is all about.

This morning I listened to this song while working on some lesson plans. This song, called "The Anthem" is a song I sang with my gospel choir at Cedarville. I am not the type to listen to Christian music very much, but sometimes I just need it to remind me how good God is. There was something about this funny kid in his ugly Christmas sweater just singing this song to God that made me stop my lesson planning, go into my room, and read my Bible. I suddenly was hit with the inexplicable need for time with my Father. I wanted to be in his presence. I wanted to be filled up with Him. I didn't feel so worn thin afterwards. I needed that time with God more than I knew.

Maybe you are like me. Maybe you have been feeling worn thin as well. Have you spent time with your Father? I know I thought about doing it many times over break, but it always sounded, I don't know, boring to me. It only takes one time of quiet reflection and reading the word for me to realize how wrong I was. I hope you can find the same desire, the same long-lost love kind of feeling I had this morning as I came quietly back to God, ready to learn.

I was originally going to use this post some pictures from my trip and give a shout out to all of the wonderful people I was able to see during my trip, but this was too heavy on my heart not to share. I hope you are encouraged to pick up and try again as I was. Let's persevere as we wait on the Lord.