As long as I can remember, I have heard about people going through mid-life crisises. Usually these 50-or-so year olds would buy a convertible, or a speed boat. I guess it has something to do with realizing half of your life is over and wanting to maintain some sort of aspect of youthfulness. Speed and recklessness seem to be what comes to mind for most people, I suppose.
While this does seem to happen, I think there is a crisis that is even more difficult than a mid-life crisis; there is a crisis that at some point or another in our twenties affects all of us. While I would not say I am truly going through a crisis, I have my moments of doubt or worry about the future. I wonder if I'll use the years I have in a positive way. I wonder what kinds of problems I will have to face in my life (because inevitably there will be some). While I obviously cannot say this for sure, I think that by the time I'm fifty I'll realize I have already made most of the big choices in my life. There won't be that pressure to choose everything correctly. I will have already chosen and possibly already learned from some of my mistakes. By that time I will hopefully know what job I will choose, where I will live, who I will marry, etc. But right now, in my third year of college, choices to come hang above my head. I have to choose all of these things. I have to make decisions that won't leave me with regret thirty years down the road. That's quite a bit of pressure for someone who is still trying to succeed in college.
I'm currently reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath for my Recent American Literature class. This book is a pretty depressing, but pretty accurate about some of the thoughts that occur to people in their twenties. Esther is trying to find how she fits in with the world, but she ends up discovering all of the ways in which she doesn't fit in with the society in which she lives. She wants to do something with her life, but she becomes so confused and depressed that she gets almost nowhere. This book is tragic in that sense. The difference is, Esther is also plagued with mental illness that causes her to buckle under the pressure of where her life should go. However, Esther's worry about who she is and how she should use her life is a question that worries almost everyone at some point during their twenties. Thankfully, most people usually don't become so devastated and lost.
I realize that worry does not help anyone. I really am praying a lot about my future and handing it over to God. I know that I have many decisions to make within the next few years, but unlike Esther, I know I God will push me in a good direction if I am truly seeking Him. While sometimes I do get caught up in tiny bouts of wondering or worry about where my life should go, I ultimately know that if I pray for God to guide me, He will. There is a lot on my plate right now, which is just even better of a reason to take things day by day. Also, as hard as this is for my generation, I need to remember that my life is not about me. My life is about how I can use it to serve God and to love those around me. I am thankful to have such hope about the future in such a confusing time in life. Let's just hope the whole mid-life crisis ordeal passes me by. I'm not really interested. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Siblings :)
This weekend my family came from Tennessee to visit me at school. It was great just to spend time hanging out with them (plus my parents took us out to eat Mexican food...so I really can't complain). Nick and I took my siblings bowling, played basketball with them, and basically entertained them all weekend. It was pretty fun, and it makes me realize how much I miss being with my siblings.
I can't lie. When Chandler and I were younger, we argued all of the time. I think it was the ages we were, and the fact that we lived in such close proximity to one another. Chloe and I were really too far apart in age to ever really quarrel. There was that one time I asked her to leave me and a friend alone so we could talk about something private. After agreeing, she came into my room, made us close our eyes, and put a unicorn sticker on the forehead of "the person who really isn't being very nice right now." Guess who got the unicorn sticker? Yep. This girl. However, in general, Chloe and I get along pretty well.
I guess college tends to change siblings into more of friends. The "absence makes the heart grow fonder" cliche really has some truth to it. Now that I am in my second half of college, I am realizing that soon real life will start for me, but my siblings will still be in junior high and high school. Depending on where I live, I may be missing out on some important years of their lives. This makes me value my time with them a lot more. I think they know, too. They seem to enjoy spending time with me more as well. I really haven't been home for a long stretch of time since before I left for college. My past two summers have been spent in Michigan working at Miracle Camp. While that was a great experience, it did make it quite difficult to spend time with my family.
All I can say is, I am thankful they were able to be here this weekend. I'm not really sure the next time I'll see them before summer, but we had a lot of fun. I am excited to se them maturing so much, and I hope that we can make a lot of memories this summer while I am in Tennessee with them.
I can't lie. When Chandler and I were younger, we argued all of the time. I think it was the ages we were, and the fact that we lived in such close proximity to one another. Chloe and I were really too far apart in age to ever really quarrel. There was that one time I asked her to leave me and a friend alone so we could talk about something private. After agreeing, she came into my room, made us close our eyes, and put a unicorn sticker on the forehead of "the person who really isn't being very nice right now." Guess who got the unicorn sticker? Yep. This girl. However, in general, Chloe and I get along pretty well.
I guess college tends to change siblings into more of friends. The "absence makes the heart grow fonder" cliche really has some truth to it. Now that I am in my second half of college, I am realizing that soon real life will start for me, but my siblings will still be in junior high and high school. Depending on where I live, I may be missing out on some important years of their lives. This makes me value my time with them a lot more. I think they know, too. They seem to enjoy spending time with me more as well. I really haven't been home for a long stretch of time since before I left for college. My past two summers have been spent in Michigan working at Miracle Camp. While that was a great experience, it did make it quite difficult to spend time with my family.
All I can say is, I am thankful they were able to be here this weekend. I'm not really sure the next time I'll see them before summer, but we had a lot of fun. I am excited to se them maturing so much, and I hope that we can make a lot of memories this summer while I am in Tennessee with them.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
On Being a Teacher
For those of you who do not know, I am currently studying at Cedarville University, pursuing a degree in secondary Language Arts education as well as an endorsement in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL). So obviously, I have plans to teach English in one form or another.
Right now I have the opportunity to begin my observation at a Montessori school in Dayton, where I am working with an English as a Second Language (ESL) department. The school is K-8 and has over 100 ESL students, who are from countries all over the world. I have been at this school for only two weeks now, and I already love my students and I am excited to see what this semester holds in my experiences with them.
One reason I have such a desire to teach ESL is because these students can teach me through their varying cultural backgrounds and experiences. I am already learning how to overcome stereotypes I may have of certain ethnic backgrounds. Many of my students are from Iraq, which was surprising to me, because I did not realize there was a large population of Iraqi families in Dayton. Whenever we imagine Iraq, I don't think we imagine children. Because the country was so war-torn and violent for so long, we would rather imagine radical Muslim men who are doing evil when we imagine all of the violence. However, Iraq had children just like the U.S. has children. We obviously know, deep down, that there are children dying in the explosions and terror, but it is easier to try to imagine that is not the case. And here I am, working with these students from Iraq. While many of them have been in the States since they were infants, it is still hard to imagine them in such a seemingly far-off and frightening place.
As one of their American teachers, I have an opportunity to influence these students lives for the better as well as give them a positive American experience. While I fear that they will encounter some prejudice in their lives in the States, I intend to welcome these students and families. I do not want to try to force them to assimilate to U.S. culture, but I want to teach them about it, and all the while learn about a culture of which I have had numerous misconceptions and misunderstandings. I am excited that this class is hopefully only the beginning of years of working with people from other cultures and countries.
I truly think teachers play such a vital role in every person's life; whether or not this role is good or bad depends on the teachers attitude and expectations in the classroom. Coming from a family of educators, I have heard both good and bad stories. While many college students studying teaching tend to have idealistic views of the field, I would say I have heard and seen enough in my parents' careers to have a pretty solid understanding of the realities of teaching. While I know there are many challenges involved, teaching is something I know I will enjoy. Pouring into the lives of children, adolescents, and adults through English is something I am excited to spend my life doing. I am just glad I am able to get a glimpse of it now.
Right now I have the opportunity to begin my observation at a Montessori school in Dayton, where I am working with an English as a Second Language (ESL) department. The school is K-8 and has over 100 ESL students, who are from countries all over the world. I have been at this school for only two weeks now, and I already love my students and I am excited to see what this semester holds in my experiences with them.
One reason I have such a desire to teach ESL is because these students can teach me through their varying cultural backgrounds and experiences. I am already learning how to overcome stereotypes I may have of certain ethnic backgrounds. Many of my students are from Iraq, which was surprising to me, because I did not realize there was a large population of Iraqi families in Dayton. Whenever we imagine Iraq, I don't think we imagine children. Because the country was so war-torn and violent for so long, we would rather imagine radical Muslim men who are doing evil when we imagine all of the violence. However, Iraq had children just like the U.S. has children. We obviously know, deep down, that there are children dying in the explosions and terror, but it is easier to try to imagine that is not the case. And here I am, working with these students from Iraq. While many of them have been in the States since they were infants, it is still hard to imagine them in such a seemingly far-off and frightening place.
As one of their American teachers, I have an opportunity to influence these students lives for the better as well as give them a positive American experience. While I fear that they will encounter some prejudice in their lives in the States, I intend to welcome these students and families. I do not want to try to force them to assimilate to U.S. culture, but I want to teach them about it, and all the while learn about a culture of which I have had numerous misconceptions and misunderstandings. I am excited that this class is hopefully only the beginning of years of working with people from other cultures and countries.
I truly think teachers play such a vital role in every person's life; whether or not this role is good or bad depends on the teachers attitude and expectations in the classroom. Coming from a family of educators, I have heard both good and bad stories. While many college students studying teaching tend to have idealistic views of the field, I would say I have heard and seen enough in my parents' careers to have a pretty solid understanding of the realities of teaching. While I know there are many challenges involved, teaching is something I know I will enjoy. Pouring into the lives of children, adolescents, and adults through English is something I am excited to spend my life doing. I am just glad I am able to get a glimpse of it now.
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